Most couples expect to be able to resolve conflict quickly and easily.
We think, “We both love each other and should be able to quickly agree or at least agree to disagree without fighting.” Right?
If only it were that easy. The truth is, it isn’t.
In reality, disagreements happen without a moment’s notice and can get pretty intense. You might even find yourself yelling, being passive aggressive or not speaking to one another for days on end.
Proverbs 15:18 states, “A hot tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.
This is wonderful advice but hard to follow because we lack training on marital conflict resolution training and resort back to unhealthy bad habits that stress our partners out. If you’re not careful, you’ll find yourself in the danger zone of negativity and wondering if marriage is even worth all the effort.
Arguing too much is literally killing your marriage. I want to help prevent that from happening for you.
There are many solutions for successfully resolving marital conflict (I cover this in Fix My Marriage) but I want to share one more GAME CHANGING tip with you right now.
It’s called a compliment sandwich and works like this:
Before you bring up a complaint, tell your partner five things they do well in the marriage and then state your complaint last.
That way, they know that you notice their strengths versus only focusing on their weaknesses. You will significantly increase your chances of getting a positive response too.
Imagine being able to bring up an issue and it not lead to an argument, getting the silent treatment or sleeping in separate beds.
The ability to resolve conflict in a healthy way is a key pillar of great relationships, and it’s the most robust module inside Fix My Marriage.
In it, you’ll learn how to:
Soften your tone to prevent yelling
Listen without interrupting
Make your partner feel heard even if you disagree
Check out Fix My Marriage here.
Dr. Alduan Tartt
“Helping Couples Create & Maintain Thriving Relationships”
P.S.- The compliment sandwich works and is highly effective. It is supported in scripture too. Proverbs 16:32 states, “Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.”