Weekly, I find myself giving dating advice to my friends- many of whom are women by the nature of my work. However, December was a record month for me as far as friends, family and colleagues calling me about "How To Get a Man In 2014". I found myself giving the same advice because a theme evolved.
Despite what the media may tell you ladies...there is NOTHING wrong with you.
Everyone has issues- temper, weight, work too much, not enough/ too much money, impatience, lust, jealousy, insecurities, trust issues, ego, baggage, lack of spiritual growth, addictions, co-dependency, too independent, inflexible, too nice, etc. In fact, men probably lead the list on most of those- except we can never make too much money (smile).
I have a few issues myself but I'm embrace my crazy and spin it as "emotional versatility"...lol. If you have met me, you know what being in a relationship with a true Pisces is like. Back to the point. None of those reasons was why my female friends were single at the end of 2013. I told them straight up...
You're single because you don't date!
Oh yes, they went O-F-F and I took it. Ok, I put the phone down and just responded enough to let them know I was still listening. I was really doing push ups. Might as well start on my fitness goals (adding muscle) while getting chewed out for being RIGHT! I've been doing this long enough to focus on the change AFTER the storm.
Needless to say, they took the advice to be more intentional about dating by being more social and, thereby, visible to men. After all, "He who findeth a wife"...must be able to easily find you. After all, men can't chase a ghost! Less than three weeks later, the results are in...
They have ALL been asked on dates...except one.
The one who has not, decided to remain at home- on her couch. Hey, before you jump on her for failing to make a decision remember that succeeding at staying stuck is a decision.
What did the non-couch potatoes do? They increased their social calendar, put the word out that they were open to a great "hook up", positioned themselves at various Christmas parties, joined a group where men attended (tennis, mixed gender fitness training, business leagues, Toastmasters, etc.) and networked so it was appropriate to start a conversation with a man without looking thirsty.
Hey, who says you can't conduct business while intentionally trying to get some (love...that is) for your personal life? Aren't women masters of multi-tasking anyway? Just saying...
What's the call to action? Ladies, stop reading about what's wrong with you and getting upset and start dating! If you're not going on at least one date a month then it is not a priority. Make it a priority and you can start saving on your grocery bill because my friends have reported back and have found multiple lucky men were elated to "find them out" and glad to pay to converse with a dynamic woman and dine, dance and laugh the night away!
I see you punching that couch! I told you to get off of it. You can always come back to it...with some company too...after all he'll be YOUR date, man and eventual husband!