So, I heard while driving into work this morning that R & B sensation, Chris Brown, was ordered to go back to jail. I listened to some of the comments on the radio and I heard a lot of people beat up on Chris Brown. Before I started this line of work fifteen years ago, I probably would have unfairly judged Chris Brown too.
What I now realize is that the general public lacks a clear understanding of the real lives of celebrities, especially mega stars like Chris Brown, Rihanna and Justin Bieber who are all struggling right now. I have no first hand knowledge of the specifics of each mega-star's inner turmoil but I am pretty sure that they have one common struggle in common: BOREDOM!
In a nutshell, they have achieved too much too soon. Let's think about it. The average person works his/her entire life striving for a dream and doesn't realize it until later in life. Then, we set new goals and continue the cycle. We never run out of goals to achieve so we remain happy. Let me break it down briefly so it makes sense.
In Dr. Tal Ben Shahar's book, Happier, he discusses the scientifically proven facts about happiness. One of the most relevant facts is that the pursuit of happiness makes us happier. Hence, we are happiest while we are striving towards our goals because they provide challenge, mystery and thrill. We stay up at night wondering if we can really put this (our goal) off. Once we achieve the goal, it loses it's thrill quickly and we must set new goals to go after pursue to remain happy.
Example: Have you ever had a craving chocolate?
The first one is delicious and the second one is too. However, with each individual chocolate after that the thrill begins to fade. In fact, if we eat chocolate daily it will become mundane, boring and even unpleasant. Additionally, the longer the delay we have before we eat chocolate again actually increases our happiness when we finally do partake in chocolate heaven.
Well, enter Chris Brown, Rihanna & Justin Bieber. They’ve already eaten every box of chocolates (the best kind too) known to mankind and with no delay either. They are already considered world pop icons in their 20’s...what in the world do they have to look forward to next?
They are victims of their own success and searching for the thrill in substances to ease the pain of boredom and unhappiness.
Professional athletes deal with this too. It's hard to be Allen Iverson, making millions annually and worshiped worldwide in his 20’s and then settle into retirement in his 30’s. Are you serious? That's a rough transition for anyone. Unfortunately, the best part of professional athletes’ lives (professionally as a basketball player) are often behind him in their late 20’s and early 30’s. Meanwhile, the rest of us are pursuing our dreams with each decade ushering in more success, money and happiness. Are you sure you still want to be a young mega-star?
I’m sure you want the money, fame and trappings of the lifestyles of the rich and famous but do you want the fall..and from Mount Everest too? It has to be miserable to know that your best days are behind while you are still in your 20’s. Ouch!
So before you go beating up on Chris Brown, Rihanna and Justin Bieber count your blessings that your best days are ahead of you and not behind you before even hit middle age. Show a little love and support for the artists who make all of our drives to and from work in rush hour traffic a little more enjoyable and way may soulful!
We are praying for you Chris Brown!